Character Descriptions

 

Mr. President

Patterned after 45th POTUS Donald Trump, he and friend Secretary Sarah enjoy frustrating the CNN journalists.

Secretary Sarah

The face of Puppetics, Sarah’s character is patterned after that of U.S. Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders.  She and Mr. President are best friends.  She can’t stand Journalist Jim.

Lemonhead

One of the two CNN anchors of Puppetics, Lemonhead is a liberal.  Patterned after journalist Don Lemon, he is not the most intelligent puppet.

Lyin’ Brian

Though a liberal like Lemonhead, Brian is the much more intelligent of the two.  Often he harasses Lem for his incompetence as a journalist.

Toro Cagando

Mr. Cagando, whose full name means “Sh*tting Bull,” is an illegal immigrant, Muslim, transsexual Native American.  He loves to play music and hates “Master” Beta O’Rourke.

Elizabeth Warren

Known as Joke-A-Hontas, Elizabeth wants to be POTUS one day, but has no unique characteristics.  Once, she tried to be Native American, but it didn’t work out.

Alexandria Blow-jobio Cortez

Patterned after congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC), Alexandria is the least intelligent of all Puppetics characters.  She is willing to do anything to advance herself politically, and is addicted to methamphetamine.

Hitlary Clinton

Still upset over her loss in the 2016 Presidential Election, Hitlary is convinced she will soon be in prison.  She is jealous that Bill, her husband, has actually been President.

Journalist Jim

Extremely annoying and insecure, Jim tries to make a scene wherever he goes and likes to be the center of attention.  Secretary Sarah despises him.  His character is patterned after Abilio “Jim” Acosta of CNN.

Journalists Tard & Bruce

Tard and Bruce are the only journalists who ask reasonable questions at press briefings.

Journalist Gina (pronounced similar to “China”)

A feminist, Gina wears a pink hat and constantly accuses men of mistreating women.

Mr. Bi

A leading Democrat, Mr. Bi owns a strip club in Washington, D.C. called “Mr. Bi’s Den.”  He occasionally dances there.  Patterned after former Vice President Joe Biden, Mr. Bi is bisexual and likes to entice sexual partners with Tide Pods and then apologize to them through the art of song.

“Master” Beta O’Rourke

Patterned after 2020 Presidential Candidate Beto O’Rourke, “Master” Beta is all hands, pun intended.  He pretends to be Mexican to appeal to immigrants such as Toro Cagando, but he doesn’t realize that he gets on their nerves.